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Sunday, February 7, 2010

Mom came to me in a dream.......

I was quite happy to come last night and sleep in my own bed. I had been staying at my cousins house all week watching my two little cousins. Had a great time, I always enjoy time with my cousins. My two cousins, Xavier who is 16 and Isaac who is 9, surprised me with how often they would talked about their Aunt Bernice. How proud I was to hear how much they loved her and thought she was a "Saint" I could have stayed another week with those two boys.

When I walked in my room last night yawning, I just dropped my bag on the floor, I knew I would sleep well. Georgia was already on my bed and as soon as I laid down insisted at least a hour of a good scratch and rub from her mom. Finally Georgia settled in and I closed my eyes. What do you know, hour later eyes still closed but no sleep yet. Most of my family and friends know I am having a awful time sleeping lately. Finally I fell asleep late in the night.

I would say the dream came around 7am because I woke up shortly after. I often dream and usually remember each one. The dream this morning has had my eyes filled with tears since I woke. Here is my dream......

I was with Mom and we were walking around a place that reminded me of a resort. The air was so fresh and clean, a beautiful sunny day. I just felt happy. Mom walking beside me and laughing. It felt like one of our perfect Saturday or Sunday outings. We are walking along in this area that felt like a huge courtyard where we see a large crowd. A tennis match between girls is drawing the crowd. Mom asks if I want to stop and watch, we watch for the last set of the match and Mom said "Lets go shop more" That's where I look down and see Mom has a bunch of shopping bags. It's going to sound odd but they were the most beautiful shopping bags. Pinks, yellows, bows on the bags, stripes, polka dots, just adorable bags. I then realize I am holding a stack of clothes in my arms. We turn a corner and there is my Aunt Melba. Aunt Melba looks incredible and just looks so happy. She smiles and hugs us and tells us to come for lunch. We then are sitting at a table with beautiful linens and this restaurant is just so amazing. The silverware has a leopard print on the handle. Glass chandeliers everywhere. Pink cushions. Candles are lit and the room smells amazing. Wine glasses filled with ice cold water are waiting for us. Mom and I had been shopping all day so we enjoyed this. The waitress comes over and brings a flute of champagne, drinks it all in one sip and sets it on the table. She said "Champagne for everyone is how it works here" We each have a glass of champagne (even Aunt Melba)
We all have huge salads and Aunt Melba carries most of the conversation. I don't think I have ever seen her just so happy. I remember joking with two men sitting beside us. Aunt Melba turned red and said "Oh Carrie Lynn" to a joke I told them. We have a great lunch and then it is time to go. Aunt Melba left, Mom and I continue to leave the restaurant where we come to a boutique. Purses everywhere, jewelry, scarves, I just cant describe in words how beautiful this boutique is. Mom looks at me and said "Do you want a new purse"
I reply "Mom I just want to set these clothes down, I don't like walking around with all my clothes in my arms"
Mom just pats my arm and with a smile replies " You cant set them down, you have a broken heart"
I remember trying to think why do I have a broken heart, is it from Drew, did I meet someone new and he broke my heart and then I knew. I had a broken heart over my Mom.
I then asked her "When does it stop"
She is smiling and still shopping, turns to me and said "Time for a fresh start Carrie, new everything. A new life, new career"
I asked "what is my career now"
She just smiled
I asked "what should I do Mom"
Again, she just smiled.
I felt like I was trying so hard to figure out the date and place
I asked " Am I alone Mom"
Again she just smiled.
I sat on this bench right by the front door of the boutique. I looked at the clothes I was holding.
I looked at Mom and said "I really don't like walking around with all these clothes Mom. I feel so stupid"
She came over to me and said "You have a broken heart"
That is when I began to cry and I said "Mom, I really miss you "
The front door then opened and next thing I know Mom is leaving the boutique, she turns around and is almost floating away from me. She smiles and said "You just don't know how much I miss you"
And then she was gone. I am still in the boutique, holding all these clothes and crying.

I woke up and sure enough was crying. The dream felt so real. I felt like I could taste our drinks and lunch. I could smell the restaurant. The clothes felt heavy. But most of all, I truly felt like I had just talked to my Mom. I tried so hard to fall back asleep because I wanted to have another dream. I wanted Mom to come back and talk to me again.

I told Pop about my dream. He cried, he believes that it does have a meaning. All I know is I want to fall back asleep and go right back to this dream.

Does it mean something? Did Mom come talk to me?