Finally feels like home....

I have never been so happy to see these three as I walked in from work last night. Somehow they have made it feel like home again and just made me feel at ease. Last night we all sat around laughing and looking at pictures. Teasing Aunt Thelma for taking too long hemming everyone pants. Kathy and I stayed up late as always. We sat outside a bit and all of a sudden here comes a raccoon. Sat there and looked at us, Kathy talked to the little thing and I thought he was just going to sit right beside us.

Right now I am surrounded by the smell of fried apple pies that Aunt Melba is baking. Oh heaven.

Had to stop writing earlier. We all decided to go see Uncle Bruce but mom was too tired. She is hoping she is able to go Sunday with us and visit. Uncle Bruce was very excited to see everyone. We brought him a fried apple pie and cucumber/tomato salad.

This morning we had a great breakfast. Uncle Jimmy and Aunt JoAnne came back this afternoon with two huge boxes of potatoes that he dug today and cucumbers. We had a great dinner. Mom is stuffed and resting on the couch. Chicken, cornbread, potatoes, green beans that Aunt Thelma brought from her garden, squash, zucchini, fried squash, and fried zucchini. We are all sitting around barely talking because we all ate too much.

I think this evening most will go to bed early. Stayed up late last night and almost everyone was up at 7am already cooking breakfast. Kathy and I will hang out tonight. Not sure yet what we might do. We have some beverages downstairs that we sneak around. ha

I hope these next few days go by slow because Tuesday is too soon for them to leave.

Peaches

My three southern peaches arrive tomorrow...wooo-hoooo. Oh how excited I am to hug my Aunt Thelma, hear my Aunt Melba say Carrie Lynn or sweetie or baby and then grin like crazy while jumping up and down when I see Kathy!!!!!! I already feel a huge load of stress off my shoulders knowing they are coming.

Mom is back in bed. She had a nice visit with her friend Dana. Dana and mom worked together at Pillsbury and mom is the godmother to her son. She made mom homemade chicken noodle soup and a cake. I have a feeling dad will eat the cake in two days.

Looks really tired today. I thought her energy would be higher today since yesterday was a rough day. That seems to be the schedule, one good day followed by a bad day but seems lately the bad days are more and more.

This morning I laid down with her from about 7-8:30. We just laid there and talked while the cats were fighting over who could be on the bed with us. Mom and I have so many moments like that.

Had planned on writing more but just got a call. Gotta run!!

No Diet Coke

I have had no diet coke today so I just might be a little crabby. Mom did not have a very good day. She had pain and felt ill. She slept most of the day.

I worked today and was a guinea pig for the MRI department. We had a new cardiac coil come in, had to test and train on it, so I volunteered to have the MRI. Now most do not enjoy this procedure, we slid you in a small tunnel like scanner and then there is the noise. For some reason I loved it. The noise only happens when you scan and since everyone was learning, the scan part maybe happened 20 times in the hour I was in. It was the first hour I had where it was quiet and somehow peaceful. I finally just let my mind rest. Every since we found out about mom I have been going non-stop. When I am alone, I make sure the radio or tv is on, always have to be doing something because otherwise I just cry. I have never fell asleep with the tv on and now do it every night. I hate the quiet. I use to love the quiet.

Anne and Greg called today to see if they could come visit Mom. I was still at work and mom said tomorrow would be better. Mom would never turn away Anne so means she must have had a bad time today. I worked till a little after 7pm and when I got home she looked exhausted. She did laugh quite a bit talking to my cousin Steve on the phone. I just love to hear that laugh. Steve always makes her laugh, well Steve makes everyone laugh.

Just sat here for ten minutes staring at the keys. I really just want to write how much I love her. How much I hate this. How much I am going to miss her. How , how, how , how will I get through this. She is my rock, my best friend, my hero and simply my angel. Well, there goes the water works, time to stop writing.

one day at a time..........

Rascal Franklin Monroe and some Disappointment's

Spent all day with mom today, I was suppose to work but it was a extra shift and got called off. Pop went out most of the afternoon, so it was just mom and I. She has more energy and not sleeping as much plus the confusion is gone. I am so thankful for that.

She wanted tacos from taco bell for lunch and then we drove around Elk Park. We only saw two elks but about ten wild turkey running around. Mom is really hoping to go see the sting ray exhibit at the zoo and hoping there is a cool day where we can do so. While driving around she began to tell me what charities she would like to have donations made to. This is where Rascal Franklin Monroe comes in.... Anne, grab a tissue now. Mom has decided she would like donations made to Love a Golden Rescue. Anne volunteers for this organization and my mom always gave. She loved Anne emailing her about the latest rescue or about what dog she was currently fostering. Right now her parents are fostering Rascal and Anne told mom all about him. Mom has always wanted a dog but no way would my Pop have that. She also picked the Humane Society as well as Cancer Research. Her heart goes with the animals though.

Speaking of animals, mom and I were rolling with laughter today. My two cats are starting to like it here. They both were hanging out by the front door when a chipmunk decided to hop on the front porch. Oh my cats went nuts. Then another chipmunk appears and my cats were running between the front door to the dining room window going nuts. Tails wagging and meows so loud. Times like that I wish I had a video camera, mom was loving it.

She had a good day. She had some disappointments over the weekend. A few people had said they would come to visit and not one showed up. Plus she really was looking forward to going to Anne and Tara's for the fourth but was too tired.

Counting down the minutes till I get off work Thursday and come home to find my Aunt Thelma, Aunt Melba, and Kathy here. I don't think I have ever been so excited or felt such relief .

One day at a time.....

Rainy weekend and missed parties

This weekend was just no fun. It definitely did not feel like the Fourth of July weekend. The weather did not help either. Friday was a good day, Anne and I focused on the party and accomplished so much. Saturday was suppose to be a full fun day but the rain got in the way. Anne and Tara both were to have parties and I think mom would have made it. Fireworks were put off until Sunday and mom just had a tired day.

Think this must have been the first Fourth that Mom, Pop, and myself did not see one firework. What a rainy weekend it was and how true it is that the weather can affect your mood.

My two Aunts and cousin arrive Thursday from Georgia and I am counting down the minutes till they get here. If it is possible to be around someone that feels like home/mom, it is my family from Georgia. Only problem is, I will not want them to leave.

Mom and I each laid on a couch yesterday and watched a marathon of clean house. All of a sudden she decided to tell me everything she wanted for her funeral from the music to her pallbearers. She then went on to tell me her Ma died when she was 30. As the tears ran down my face, she told me I would be ok. I don't know how I ever will be ok.

I just wish it was all a bad dream.

Rain, Invites, and my Anne Marie

Yesterday my dear Anne came over to help with the party, house, my emotions, and basically anything I needed. We started out to buy the paper for the invite. We spent quite a bit of time just staring at the choices of paper and both thinking how did we get here? Why am I picking out paper for a party that breaks my heart but also makes me smile. So, with a few shrugs and nods of no's, yes, and maybes, Anne and I finally found the perfect paper. Then what the hell should it say???

We drove out to the banquet hall to pick out food, make the deposit, see the room. It will be beautiful. So thankful Anne was with me because I was full of emotions but once again held it in. The guy we were dealing with was very nice and told me I was handling it so well. Some reason that stuck with me all day. I asked Anne what did that mean? How should I be acting?

We found the foam board for the pictures. We came up with many ideas for the party. All day we kept thinking of what to say on the invite. We drove to a church to see Pastor Ryan for a bible verse but office closed. We drove to a hallmark store because Anne said where else to look for the perfect quotes. Hallmark employees at that store thought we were crazy. Here is Anne writing down everything she sees, here I am walking around with a dazed look mumbling that's not it, that wont work. We both looked at every book of quotes and bible verses they had. I did buy something before we left because I felt bad we spent so much time in that store.

Stopped by Roger and Janie to grab a few more pictures and I always enjoy seeing them for my second parents hug. Anne and I get back here and start working on the invites. No quote worked, no bible verse worked, no song lyrics worked. Anne then said she was going to write something special just for mom. And that's just what she did. My dear Anne sat there, laid down, walked around, ate some pizza and wrote the most beautiful poem about my mom. I am so tempted to post it here but want you all to read it the first time when it arrives in the mail.

Yesterday was rough, my mom had a great day. I had some disappointing phone calls, upset that I am planning a party for this reason, but Anne had me laughing and helped so much. God did not bless my parents with more children but He did bless me with Tara and Anne, my two sisters in my heart. I could not have got so much done if not for the two of them. Tara sent two containers of chicken and dumplings for mom....she already ate one whole container. Tara has now said there will always be a container in the fridge for her. ha

So, again with the party..... I really need a headcount. I have told the banquet hall it will be around 200 for now. I can add more but no later than probably end of this week. The invites are so pretty, I am sending them out to everyone but again if you can RSVP now please do so!!!! July 19th 1-6pm. Email me at carrielynnstl@yahoo.com

Change for the Party

Party has been changed to July 19th!!!!!!!!

We have changed the party date after the Dr visit today. It will now be July 19th from 1-6pm. Please send me your address or RSVP to me at carrielynnstl@yahoo.com. I need a head count and if you do not need a invite mailed to you and can RSVP now, please do so!!!

Light food provided along with soda, beer, and wine.