I am feeling very selfish at the moment. Just walked in my front door and saw my cat Georgia going nuts at the patio door because of a bird on my balcony. I realized right then how much I love my place. I started to look around at this apartment I have called home for two years. I have made it my own. Much has happened here and many memories in these walls.
It has been decided that I am moving back home to help mom. Dad asked me, mom asked me, and the Dr. told me point blank I needed to move back home. I know it is for the best. This past weekend while she was in the hospital I would not leave her side. I trusted no one else to sit with her. She is my mom and no one else take care of her like me. Am I putting too much on myself for feeling that way? Yes, I know I am but she is my mom and would do the same for me.
I know she needs me home with her. I know dad needs me there as well. But, at this moment I hate to know I will be packing my home up and moving back in with my parents. I hate that my decorated dining room table will be put in storage. I hate that I will not have my beautiful balcony overlooking the courtyard. I hate that I am losing my home. How selfish of me. I feel awful for even thinking about it.
I have not lived home for few years now. Where will I put it all? How will I not go insane living under the same roof as my father (you all know I love that man but we drive each nuts) and what in the world are we going to do with my two cats and my parents two cats??? Its like a Osbourne reality show with cats instead of dogs and while dad is not nuts because drugs, man can he ramble about the stupidest things.
At the same time as I write this, I know in my heart I will sleep better knowing I am under the same roof as mom.
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