Goodnight, Sweet Dreams, I Love You

My Mom has said these words to me each night we were together, talked on the phone, etc for as long as I can remember. I love hearing her say it.

Last night was rough. Dana and Robin came over to stay with us. Uncle Jimmy, Aunt JoAnn, Chad, Leslie, and CJ stayed till after 9pm. Kim (angel nurse) called to check on things and after hearing my voice told me she was coming over. She did and walked in the door with her PJ's and told me she would just stay. Kim was able to better explain certain things to Aunt Thelma , Dana , and Robin and she answered each question/concern they had. Pop had fallen asleep on the couch around 7pm and someone told him to just go to bed. He only got up twice last night so I was glad he was able to sleep.

Around 2am, we became concerned with her breathing. It was growing further and further apart. I was sitting on the twin bed in the room just watching her when next thing I know I am up, moving a chair out in the hallway, moved the bedside table, and then moved the twin bed all the way over to Mom's bed. I was crying as I moved everything around, Kim and Dana watched knowing I guess that I just had to do it. I was only focused on being able to hold my Mom. Moved the bed all the over, got in and snuggled right up to Mom. I said"Mom lets go to sleep, Goodnight Sweet Dreams I Love You. I had broke. Really broke. I sang the song she and my Pop both sang to me each night when I was little. I sang You are my sunshine. I could not get all the words out but I know she knew I was singing to her. I cried harder than I had in the last couple of weeks. I just let it all out.

I stayed there all night and fell asleep around 4am. Kim left around 6am. Robin and Dana came in to check on us and left around 7am to go home and get some sleep. Aunt Thelma and fallen asleep in the recliner and I did not want to disturb her. I laid there with Mom and talked her ear off some more. I heard the front door around 8am and thought It would be Uncle Jimmy. There he was, came in and told me to sleep more with my Mom and got the coffee started. I stayed in there with her till almost 2pm today. I slept, I really slept. Held her hand the whole time and even had wonderful dreams.

I know she can still hear me. While it is no longer her eyes that flutter, I know she can still see me. Pop is having a hard time going in to see her. I cant think of anything else I would rather do than be right next to her. Her breathing is continually growing further apart and she is getting cold. I still believe she is not in pain. I got up for a bit just to check on everyone here and saw the laptop. I knew I had to write. I had to remember this last night. I had to remember being able to snuggle up right next to her, take her hand, and fall asleep. I have never slept better. I think she knew how tired I was and helped me sleep so good.

I love you Mom

One minute at a time.....