I just love egg drop soup and facebook

I have been in bed all day. Pop kept coming down to check on me and I know he is getting worried. My side is killing me. Pain has been coming and going last couple of weeks but yesterday it really flared up on me and today hit a peak. I should not be surprised with all the stress, that is one thing that may cause a flare up. I know if I call the Dr she is just going to get on my case about repeating the surgery. Just can not do that right now.

I am so relieved Pop is now comfortable with Moms medicine. I am able to rest and sleep now. I am sure the fact I went about 5 days with 2-3 hours of sleep daily did not help matters. Hospice was here this afternoon. Nurse told Aunt Thelma and Pop she could not believe she was here today. She was off over the weekend and last two days so we had other nurses here. She said Mom was a fighter and shocked she is still here with us.

My sweet Sarah called to check on me and was upset to hear about my side. She is one who knows first hand how sick I was. She does not want me to go through all that mess again. Knows how much I love egg drop soup especially when I am sick so she brought me some this evening. Tonight was the first night she met Aunt Thelma and just loved her. Sarah said she just wanted to close her eyes and listen to her because she reminded her so much of Mom. My close dear friends just adore my Mom. They all have grown so close to her over the years. Sarah wanted to go in and see Mom. She had not been here in a couple of weeks, last time she was here Mom was still talking. Sarah walked in and sat down to talk to her and just broke. I know it is so very hard for everyone to see her like this. I rubbed her back and started telling Mom how Sarah brought me egg drop soup. I know Mom was smiling on the inside and then probably thinking you better not be sick Carrie :)

Once again when I logged into facebook this evening I had many emails. I can not begin to tell y'all how much support I am receiving. If it was not for facebook, so many people that I would never have kept up with or that would never know about Mom. I have people writing me I have not talked to in 20 years. Each one makes me smile and builds me up again. How many offer a shoulder or a night out, I am just so ... whats the word...not sure. It just means so much. When Mom first was diagnosed I would tell her so and so emailed me about her. She would get so tickled by all the support. I am amazed by it and appreciate it so.

I keep hugging Aunt Thelma. She is about the same size as Mom and I swear gives hugs just like Mom. Tonight before she went to bed she said those words we all say in this family. Goodnight, Sweet Dreams, I love you. Gave me a hug and I had a hard time letting go. I wish Mom would just open her eyes and sit up, give me one of those amazing hugs. Oh how I wish I could hear her voice. I miss her so. I know she is still here but its so hard. Nurse compared it to a coma. I hate it and I know she hates it. Maybe she is trying to make it easier for us. Still here but not here. Trying in same way to let us not have her talking. Does that make sense? I don't know, I need to stop trying to figure out what she is holding onto. I could drive myself nuts trying to figure it out. I don't think I will ever grow use to not talking to her, not having her with me. I know she will always be with me but.....

I love you Mom

One hour at a time.....