Counting to ten does not work.......

I wish I was more like my mom where I could just count to ten and remain calm. Mom is home and sound asleep. She did get sick as soon as she walked in the door but I believe it was the car ride home that upset her. Hopefully by tomorrow morning she will feel a change with her back pain.

As far as trying to be more like mom and simply count to ten......it does not work when it comes to my Pop. It has now hit the point where we glare at each other and unless mom is in the room with us we try to stay away from each other. I know he is hurting as much as me, I know he is just as stressed as me if not more but we just can not get along. I was worried this would happen when I moved back home. Pop and I built up our father/daughter relationship while I was living in Dallas. Those extra miles away from each other made us close and work on things. We still did great when I moved back to St. Louis but now that we are under the same roof we are back to bickering and being so hateful to each other.

I am trying my best to bite my tongue. I almost exploded at him today. I was home when they got back from hospital. I was going to spend the afternoon cleaning and trying to throw away things that are not needed. My parents can be secret pack rats and it drives me nuts. They walk in and I see right away mom is going to be sick. I grab a bucket just in time and ask Pop to go get two cold washcloths. So he brings back one......OK I count to ten and say "Need one more please" I try to say please more and more with him so he does not accuse me of being bossy.
So here we are.... mom getting sick in a bucket. I am holding her up and wiping her neck. I hear my phone start ringing. Here comes Pop with my phone "Carrie your phone is ringing"
You have got to be kidding me. I know I gave him a awful look. I know I said something along the lines of "Are you a idiot". I mean really... Hey mom can you stop throwing up so I can answer this non-important phone call. Oh but wait there is more.... so mom is still throwing up and Pop sees the flowers that were delivered today and decides to bring the huge basket pf flowers and starts saying sweetie look at the flowers. Maybe I am crazy but if I was bending over in the middle of the kitchen throwing up in a bucket and had someone standing behind me trying to make look at flowers.... well I would probably turn around and puke all over their feet. So I look at Pop and say "Really? Pop come on, not right now" Oh well that made him explode at me. Do you see where I am going with this, Pop and I have turned our paths into a war zone.

On a lighter note, Pop is going to a support group tonight which I have been encouraging for the last few weeks. I know he needs to talk and hear other stories because he just is still so overwhelmed by it all. While I may write about him and his ways that drive me nuts, bottom line is I love my Pop so hope this group does help him.

We go back tomorrow to see the Dr. I go back to work Thursday. Part of me cant wait. I miss my co-workers and getting my mind off what is going on here at home. I will be working two days a week for this month. My boss and I had a long talk about it and she felt I needed to work during this to simply have a couple of days to escape and forget. She is right. While it is going to break my co-workers hearts, I have been looking at another school and does not have to do with MRI. I am looking at radiation therapy school. I know when all this is over I am going to fight this cancer bitch somehow. While I love the ER and love MRI, I have found I want to work against the cancer bitch.