Not Ready

4am and awake again. Anne is here sound asleep and I should be asleep next to her. My dear Anne came over to spend the night with us tonight. I went into work today as planned. Went in at 3pm and was walking to my car crying at 5pm. Kim (moms nurse) who came by to visit yesterday, came up to MRI to find me. We talked about 15 minutes and she told me what she saw yesterday with mom. I am not going to write too much detail here. I will say I worked about a half hour more after talking to her but completely broke down at work and came home. I needed to be here. I have already found someone to cover my shift on Tuesday. I will not leave this house for a couple of days.

I came home and talked to Pop about what Kim said. We decided to call some family and friends to come see Mom. I called Anne and she came right over to stay with us tonight. Anne and I gave Mom a bed bath followed by a leg massage with her favorite lotion.

Pop and I both needed Anne here tonight. She and I went to pick up dinner for us and she got Pop a bag of M&M's. Watched the Cards game from this afternoon together. Pop went on to bed and Anne and I snuggled under blankets to watch Project Runway. She made me laugh which I needed. I thought after the news today I would not laugh for a long time but Anne always can make me laugh.

Kathy Lynn will be here in about 10 hours. I know I should go back downstairs and try to sleep. I did fall asleep with Anne but only for two hours. I just stare at that monitor listening to Mom breathe.

News today was hard. I will say if you want to see Mom, you should come this weekend. I am not ready for what is coming. I will try to stay strong for my Pop because he will need me. I know I am surrounded by love from so many. We will find a way to get through this.

One hour at a time...........